Random Thoughts..
Life with a little more than expectations, this is how the story is,
Emotions, that are like waves – ever flowing, deeper than the ocean
Makes me cry, even makes me smile in sadness, that’s the conversations between you and me
Every breath of mine sings to me only your name
Under the shadow of your hold, I find couple moments of respite
Even though the threads of life seem breakable for now, with a bit too many knots
Still if I touch you then I too will live some moments – so would you am sure
I summon our sleep, with hand in hand
If not obliged though, our conversations will remain in some corner of the sheet
There are signs of our dream, beyond the sky
In the center of this night, there is love overflowing
But here are the eyes, all moist, with all the courtesy you are owning
The roads shall change a little and our feet will soon find grip on the ground
The rainfall shall happen again with all the tears getting washed away
Light will be spread, day and night, with windows all open
There would soon be devotion with you in my desires
But alas..the indifference is such, the distance is much
So much to say, so much more to do, then why do You fall asleep?
The changing of seasons is yet to happen
Please wait for a while, we still have to walk together for a little while
Once again on those same roads with our steps in sync, our emotions in sync
In pain or in anguish, burning and dowsing together is yet to happen
Between you and me, a wonderful saga is yet to happen..
THE BIRTHDAY EVE..
a heartfelt note…
Maybe 25 years ago if I was asked (and I’m sure I would have certainly been asked) to write an essay on My Father I would have started off by writing I love my father, or my father is the best man. Reason then to write these lines would have been to A) finish of the essay as soon as possible and B) they were the easiest of the lines one can think of at that stage of age to write about anyone or anything – just replace Father with that thing. Nobody cared about the content – neither the teacher who asked you to write nor the Father about whom you mentioned these unintentional beautiful lines.
But here I am, 25 years later, at probably the darkest stage of my life writing few words on my father. I will still start off by saying my father is the best man and I love my father. This time I don’t have to finish off a homework or to get marks or to pass the test. If I look back now, I think I was right 2 and a half decades back as well. Owing to significant change in the emotional quotient and further increment in the cerebral matter, I guess by now, I don’t have to think too much to understand how good my father was and why is he the best. We always read, parents should be taken care of like the way did of us and reading above would make any parent feel proud of their child – but why the stage of life is been cursed here?
So here is the tragic side to it. And it starts off with the similarity of the outcomes post writing such essay, 25 years back and now. Like then, even now no body cares about what I wrote, even if this time it is full of feelings and totally intentional. The reason – there is no teacher to read my writings and award marks and tearfully, there is no existence of my father anymore to understand what I think of him. Yes, the wait shouldn’t have been this much and I shouldn’t have cared about if I was not able to muster any courage between then and now to make him know of my feelings for him. Yes, he might not have acknowledged and probably have thought I might be needing some materialistic favor, but I shouldn’t have cared about that. Like for many selfless acts he bestowed upon me, one act of love was any way never going to be enough. Yes, he will always exist in my heart and mind but that can never be enough.
I would always regret I couldn’t give back much love to him maybe when he needed the most and that I tried to copy him by being expressionless throughout. Yes, we both knew in our hearts that we love each other but my iota of an effort cannot match his unexpressed love for me. You kept trusting me and I couldn’t do enough to give you a long life you always wanted to have, you kept fighting the world to be with me and think of me and all I could do is to have the courage to give fire to your pyres; you kept doing everything you could so that I can be at a better place, never gave me too much of responsibility thinking I would get over burdened and here I am standing in waiting to do kapaal kriya; you kept loving me more and more, gave everything you could to me without expecting anything in back and here I was waiting for you to turn into a mere heap of Ashes. My father, who was longing to be with me on my birthday, fighting really hard to defeat an undefeatable disease, gathering courage every moment to travel back to be with me to see me turn one year older, fell short by 4 hours to leave a huge void in my life which in by no means can ever be fulfilled. A birthday eve, which I can never forget and a birthday, which I can never feel happy about anymore.
The tears can continue to flow, much as I want to when alone or when remembering his last moments – his last 48 hours of soundest of sleep he would have had in the past 10 months before taking the feared route – performing his last rites, looking at his photo which will be at my side forever but that just can’t eat out the heavy pain one could ever suffer from. You do have the practical definition of life which doesn’t allow you to cry or survive without being actually alive but how will my inner self filled with emotions understand this? yes one answer is to look and move ahead but how to do it without someone who actually taught you how to move in the first place? There are no answers to it. The post is also not about gaining condolences, sympathies or formality sake gestures and conversations for I know it is understandably really difficult to share grief in a genuine way.
I know I have to think of the positive things, think of the good and the many memories, think of how strong he tried to be, how lovely, selfless and big hearted he was, how he, along with my mother educated, holding on to each other is bigger than any ego or tussles, how his children and may be more so me meant everything to him, how he in spite of all the inner resistance tried to be as relevant in today’s all digital world, how he still believed, picking up a phone to call is still the best way to connect, how he just cannot forget or miss any of the important days or milestones, how he used to get angry if the phone was not picked at 8 AM of your birthday morning, how he lived the definition of discipline, cleanliness and no shortcuts, how he expertly managed finances of himself and his 3 children – 2 out of those being MBAs, how even after 10 years of retirement, still had numerous circles to be connected to socially, how he still had Ultra active interest in politics and cricket (yes, I had to bear the discussion of Sachin being the best batsman ever with him), how he simply loved video chatting with his cute grandkids and the vice versa, how he was meticulous in getting any breakdown in the house fixed quickly, how he innocently ensured we get the best of the best, how he worked hard to build everything that we boast of today, how terrifically disciplined he was not to miss his daily shave-bath-religious prayers routine day in day out, how his passion to work hard became an example for all three of us, how his anger used to literally shut all of us up, how he literally wanted till his last for me and my wife to have a trouble-free life going ahead, lately – how excited he used to be when going for chemotherapy, without thinking at all of the associated pain but only about the hope that he would get better post it and how he fought his will against his unparalleled love for food.
I have a strong hatred with this disease now not only because it ate up my main man or traditionally, the head of our family but because it consumed a person who believed in disciplined and healthy lifestyle, strived hard since a long time to be fit and active, never indulged into any bad/unhealthy habits, even socially. More than the surprise, it makes me wonder about the kind of environment we are living in and how medical institutions have still no clue to fight this Monster like how it was in the yesteryear’s as well but yes life continues to move and give lessons, to continuously throw challenges at us for us to come out stronger out of every grief, teaches just how important parents are and how irreplaceable they are, how one should keep moving forward thinking of all the good memories, how being thoughtful and full of expressions is important, how social media will not give you friends for lifetime and connections for lifetime and how must the live the only life you got, fully.
My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give to any person, HE BELIEVED in me…
Yes, I may continue to think maybe I could have done a bit more or may be feel lucky that he took this final route in his journey in as painless and nonchalant way as possible and that he breathed his last resting on my mother’s and my shoulders. May be he had got the sniff and may be he thought no better place it can be than his wife and son’s arm to rest for good, may be he took all the courage to travel to be with me expecting I would do some magic, may be he was destined to live a life, free and far away – a lot of may bes’ with no answer to either. But one thing for sure is wherever he may be, he would be in a much happier state than he was in the last 10 months or so.
The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living. This may take a few months’ time for the temporary repair to happen – till then may be a few tears will help, a few genuine shoulders of my wife, my family, my dear friends might help and even if not, your good memories would certainly help. You were the best, Papa!
PINK – The Movie
The title of the movie reflects it would be about feminism and a lot of brains might relate the relevance of the title to the color Pink which is often – mistakenly – attributed to the favorite color of women. However, not many would know in the western space, whenever a new born arrives, they recognize them as male or female by putting blue and pink identifiers – pink ofcourse for females. Having said that, this in no way conveys the real reason behind the title. But there is much more to the movie than just the relevance of the title.
This is an important movie about feminism, how male chauvinism has ruled the country and still do in most parts, how double standards and hypocrisy lives a comfortable life among ourselves, how we still do not want to explicitly talk about sexual content (& consent) and still apparently & consider ourselves fully aware about it where the right word to use here is delusional. The movie’s apparent best dialogue highlights the significance of NO coming from a women – that a NO should just simply be understood as No, coming from any girl – friend or wife. Better it gets inside the head of all, better it would be for all.
The movie has a lot of important messages for the society and for the parents – not that it is something revealing or the society and the people aren’t aware of – but that’s the beauty of the film. It does not go beyond realistic and practical imaginations and that makes it very believable. The accidents & the happenings are as realistic as it could be – the point here is it is very needed to have these messages put right on the face of the people very frequently for them not to forget easily considering its just a movie. Especially considering all the considerate hooplahs happened immediately after the Nirbhaya incident hasn’t brought about any significant change.
A movie is a platform where everyone in the family can come together and watch it which would make them further think about the existing traditions and whether those obsolete traditions still demand a life a not. The idea is to not restrict discussing such messages just between friend to friend or parent to relative but rather have an open discussion and stand by what is right and what is wrong.
So the movie is about 3 independent girls working in different industries in one of the safest city called Delhi. They work, earn, drink, smoke, have affairs & party. Yes, there is no need for special mentioning of these but it sure makes an interesting read when it is said about a female whereas it is absolutely normal and passable for any male – isn’t it? Good you agree – that’s called hypocrisy.
One of the party at a farmhouse with male acquaintances – a group of 3 privileged men – resulted into an unexpected accident of a girl hitting a beer bottle right through the face of a man, apparently a close relative of a politician. The after effects are troublesome and like it is said, what you become is a huge factor of how your company or the people around is/are. You don’t expect the company of a politician or his relatives to be nice minded and that exactly helped the situation worsen. Here male ego is considered to be paramount and hurting that means a crime has been committed and when that crime is of a physical nature, you know you’re in trouble.
All kinds of peacemaking acts failed and everything boiled down to a court room after both the parties filed police complaint – only after as a welcome revenge, one of the girls, the main protagonist, had been exploited by the same men, sexually.
The court room sequences are extremely powerful where the double standards of the society is very subtly exposed – that’s when you feel the realization or the shame of it. These scenes hit you hard and make you believe it to be real. As a lawyer fighting the girls’ case, Amitabh Bachchan – despite playing a confused character living confused life – alone made such a strong impact that calling it a feminist film might be considered a mistake. Even though he recites sermons more than facts, his dialogues made us to believe how the underlying theme of slut shaming, consent & societal double standards is ruining the progress of the nation by hindering development.
The movie – though not directed but looked over by the perfectionist Shoojit (Piku, Vicky Donor, Madras Café fame) has its share of flaws however the impact is of such greater magnitude that would help you forget those, including the very slow first half. The character played by Amitabh Bachchan outside the courtroom is not convincing and leave you wondering about his personal life and the sudden change that help him get out of retirement, bipolar disorder, creepy looking mask wearing uncle to effectively fighting the case. As you enter the second half and the court room, you would not come out without bowing down to the super acting by the super man Bachchan.
The girls – Tapsee, Kirti, Andrea – have been powerful in their performances. The North Eastern – as normally one would refer to the people coming out of such areas – actor has been expressive and effective. Kirti – a famous face of many commercials and acclaimed ‘Shaitaan’ – has delivered an extremely commanding performance of a working girl managing loans, coming out of a relationship with a much elderly man to someone taking a strong stand. Tapsee, the lead protagonist, has been a known face in the various regions in the Film industry and has played her role to almost perfection. She is strong in her character, understand what is right, someone who would never succumb, who would never be dependent on others to make her living. For her to play this role would have been extremely tough and she has come out with flying colors. The best thing about the girls has been their realistic conversations and the ability to stand with what is right even though tough.
There are many moments in life which we call them as ‘Oh Shit’ moment. These are the times when you feel distraught, dejected, frustrated and helpless. But what we do at that moment counts most. This moment becomes really difficult when exit choice is easy and many take it. That is a mistake. Try to put in more effort, go forward, find a way to go forward, keep trying till there is nothing left in you – then try once more. You will relish this extra effort all your life.
As Bachchan says – Tu khud ki khoj me nikal….tu kis liye hataash hai..
Life is too short for drama – don’t like something, CHANGE it.
Kapoor & Sons Co (since 1921) – Review
Joy + Sorrow + Relationships + Fun = Family
Family = Kapoor & Sons
In one line, if it were to be summarized it would be the summation of 4 words mentioned above. We have been thinking of a family movie to be full of traditions, culture, ARRANGED marriages – Arranged in as Grand way possible, home run businesses, etc.
While grand weddings are all about the curtains, flowers, fragrances, places, food and never about the groom and the bride but that is a topic meant for some other time! Kapoor & Sons breaks all such traditions of having tradition as the mainstay of the movie.
In fact, it gives a more realistic view of a family – a lady running the house, arguments with husbands, fighting brothers, on-the-edge relationships. Add to it, a jolly and one of the funniest ever grand dad, it gives some sort of distraction and idealism yet a lifeline to a family.
It is a movie which tries to highlight many important issues –
- How it is easy for children to move out to pursue their ambitions and make one trip an year to a vacation spot called their own home & their own parents
- How difficult it is and it has been for all the house wives to sacrifice every of their dreams just for their husband first and then their children – and hence a bit chauvinistic title of the movie – Kapoor & SONS
- Sensitivity of the topic of having inclination to the same gender
- How difficult it gets for a husband and wife to stay together in spite of having issues only to set the right example for their children
- How easy it is for men of the society to look out for something more alluring assuming a low IQ of the women making and maintaining their house
- On a lighter note, how difficult it is for parents to give equal weightage to their 2 sons! I don’t think it is realistically possible or having probability of Pakistan beating India in a World Cup
The Hindi-speaking family is uncharacteristically for some reason based out of totally non-Hindi speaking region of Connoor in Tamil Nadu (that too since 1921!) The movie is filled with extremely strong acting skills with Rishi Kapoor being the title – holder and the main stay of the movie. He is from an army background, death lover, funny, womanizer, catchy Delhi accent and his every screen presence would give you a laugh on your face. Rajat Kapoor & Ratna Pathak Shah are seasoned actors and they have been consistently doing more than justice to their roles by showing their acting prowess and this time too they excel big time enacting a argumentative usual house hold couple !
Of the 3 young stars – they stand out based on their age, i.e. Fawad Khan, Siddharth & Alia in the order. Fawad, after his first stint in the movie Khoobsurat where he took a lot more accolades than Sonam, is in form in this craft too! This guy just continues to look good & better and more over impress with his acting skills. Fawad dominated the show as the elder son of the family. Siddharth is slowly growing to be one of the fine versatile actors in Bollywood. Alia has been in this kind of a jolly bubbly role and she does well in this men dominated movie – in terms of acting.
While the cinematography is great and apt to the family set up, Shakun has done a decent job in expressing relationships in his way. The movie moves on at a great pace without stretching a sequence or without too much of drama, a must for any family movie. Music is great in the movie and has all variants – rap, peppy, soulful & youthful. Overall, a great family cinematic experience after a long time. Coming off a big brand like Dharma Production, known director (former actor – Jaane Tu ya Jaane Naa fame) & an extremely strong and versatile strong cast will give the movie a strong start and a strong story as the backing would let the movie sail along for at least 2 weeks !
Thumbs up to the attempt and I would go for 4 out of 5 stars. Isn’t the case, but a film like this deserve a happier ending!!
straightandforwardblog 